What I'm Doing This Friday

Hi devoted non-existent fans of my frantic scribbling. If you want to meet me in person, I will be @ this show on Friday.

Twitching

One of my coworker's hair is so black I think he might be using a shoe polish for his tupe. The thing sits weird on the top of his head, making it hard not to stare.

When I was in high school I would pull my hair, a nervous tick that left a small bald spot on the top of my head. The hair has grown since then, but I sometimes feel the urge to pull on it. I also bite my nails, crack my knuckles, and chain smoke – a collection of lovely neurotic habits, I get rid off once in a while only to re-develop during times of freaking out (such as exams, driving tests, trying not to tell my boss what a natural dumb ass he is, taking off and landing planes, traffic jams when running late, annoyingly slow street vendors when starving, cab drivers who have no clue how to get there). I just sit there and chew a nail till I feel the pain, and then I chew some more to make sure I can really feel it. My parents would yell at me about it but that didn't make any difference.

One time I decided to grow my nails. It was good for peeling off price stickers and opening soda cans, however, dirt kept getting under it.

IF

If I were a male I would probably grow a beard. Not a big beard, something just about to cover my face, but not too long to retain food when I eat. I will have real short hair and be a little on the chunky side. I will wear jeans and plain navy blue or army green T-shirts. I won't speak to anybody unless I'm spoken to, and even then my answers will be short. I will smoke a lot. My name will be Edmund and I will own a small publishing business. Mostly for publishing religious booklets. I will be an atheist, but I will be fully aware that atheist or not, religious people pay well for spreading the word. I'll learn to play the harmonica and occasionally will go to small open mikes and play something bluegrassy or bluesy.

I would aspire to be a novelist, however, I would not be able to come up with a plot that seemes worthy of developing. I will have a collection of cactuses at home, no pictures of my family, and a lot of powdered protein. I'll eat the protein mixed with flavored yogurt while watching the Sopranos. I'll fall asleep with the mute TV on. A bike will be my typical form of transportation. When traveling, will pack light, with the notion that credit card is the most important survival tool. I won't travel much, because city life will be fulfilling enough, however once in a while I'll rent a car and invite acquaintance from the open-mike to join me on a trip.

I will be a jigsaw puzzle lover. I will shiver with excitement at the idea of a 5,000 puzzle of endless wheat fields, or cloudless blue skies. I'll have a lady coming once a week to tidy up. Scared she might nick something, I'll buy a little safe where I'll keep a jar of change and silver cufflinks.

Sometimes I'll take the day off on Monday and go to the movies in the middle of the day, when the theater is empty.

I will be a fan of comfortable footwear. I have all sorts of foot pads, foot creams, and battery operated foot massagers.

I would dream of riches and comfortable life and will often get sucked into get quick rich schemes. I would invest in my friend's "guaranteed no risk" idea of a video porn store with individual booths in the middle of Connecticut. According to my friend, the sex starved suburban man will pay a fortune to have a little fun. Except that in reality, the average suburban man would pay a fortune at a Striptease club, rather than a lonely porn video store booth smelling of sperm.

I would persistently play the lottery, and try to put some money on the side. Scared of the prospectus of dying alone I might even consider marriage, even though the idea seems a little overbearing.

Ear Wax

I’m studying for GMAT – again. Following my grandiose aspirations to end up at some snooty place like Harvard or Stamford, I took the exam and did well below the Harvard average score.

The reason I would like to attend a snooty place like Harvard is purely based on one economical reason – money (you won’t see this statement on my application resume). The plan is to spend incomprehensible amount of money on tuition and hopefully live long enough to pay off my student loans.

I know I don’t have any talents, unless bitching becomes marketable. Therefore I’m destined to spend my life crunching numbers in Corporate America in the chosen of me field – Finance. Finance is a good field to be in – it is such a broad field that you could become anything from stockbroker and financial analyst to banker and financial advisor, and my personal favorite CFO (Chief Financial Officer). Much better than Accounting, which leads to becoming an accountant.

So my GMAT obstacle is the reading comprehension (and low test pressure tolerance). My friend was trying to comfort me saying that if the reading comprehension was in Bulgarian I would have aced it. Oh yeah, I wonder how all the Asian international students make it to the snooty places with their not so fluent English.

So the other night I’m reading a GMAT 3-paragraph text. The text discusses the types of ear wax different races have. According to the text, Caucasians’ ear wax is waxy and yellow, as opposed to Asians’ wax which is hard and not so yellow.