What Have I Done

What have I done! I had let you, my readers, roam the big, scary world for almost a month without any words of wisdom and direction to shine a bright light on your dark and depressing holiday times. I hope all is well, and nobody has committed suicide or killed off their whole family...that would cause my readers to drop from 5 to 4, and would make the whole blog writing completely pointless.

I'm going back home (Bulgaria) for a week. My boyfriend is coming too. Sounds romantic, doesn't it. Technically it is not. As far as I know my family there will be a huge delegation for the greeting of the long-lost daughter returning triumphantly from THE NEW YORK CITY in THE US of A. Tears of joy will cover the faces of grandma and Mom. Like that movie "Coming to America" with Eddie Murphy, but even a bigger production. Just thinking about it makes me nauseous. A lot of shrieking - where they talk over each other, and I'm trying to answer 6 questions at the same time. My Grandpa would want to come meet me at the airport too, but he knows I hate the crowd and the attention and the tears and the hugs and the screeching of Mom and Grandma, so he'll save me the pain and stay at home. I only wish my Grandma could realize that and forget to meet me at the airport.

My folks don't speak English, and the boyfriend doesn't speak Bulgarian so I will do my best to answer questions and translate, while trying to be invisible.

However, I'm happy that I will see my cat. She's always happy to meet me on my sporadical returns home. She winks at me and says "Oh, so you are back. Did you run out of money or something?" Bulgarian cats are sarcastic like that.

I have to call my long-lost-touch-with friends, and pretend that we still have a lot in common. Having the boyfriend with me would guarantee me a lot of attention. I envision my grandma inviting all the grandmas of her apartment building to check what the granddaughter brought home from across the big pond.

We will be staying there for 6 days, during which I have to plan touristy-picturesque walks about the city, and a few trips to other cities. Also will have to persuade the boyfriend that I was really adopted, and I have nothing to do with these crazed and annoyingly affectionate people.